Feb 18th
Tuesday

This juice detox is tough. No other word for it really. All morning I was fine. I didn’t feel hungry, was a little zapped as far as energy was concerned but overall was ok. Had my mid-afternoon shake – the only one that is even remotely palatable – and then had a mini crash of sorts.

Cold, shivering, cant concentrate, achey (from early morning PTs i guess) hungry, head ache and redundant teeth. All these symptoms were expected. We’d been told about them by John before we signed up. But when people tell you about a head ache it doesn’t feel any thing like it when you actually have one. It’s like being told how good a cake tastes……..useless information until you have a whole Chocolate Eclaire in your gob……then¬† you know. Or a Custard slice. Custard slices are my one weakness.¬† custard sliceWell those and Blue Ribbands (only 99 calories). I am actually crying real tears over how much I miss custard slices.

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, these juices – some candid feedback.

  1. Not too awful (everything is in varying degrees of awful. Do not confuse “not awful” with good). I guess it sets your mind with what delights to expect for the rest of the day.
  2. Absolutely shit. I think i would happily do 3 shakes per day if I got to miss out shake number 2. Makes me gag. Tastes like old carrots and shit mixed in with a few twigs.
  3. Not too shabby. Actually as close to ok as you’re gonna get eating grass and twigs with a few leaves for flavouring.
  4. Remember when you used to eat? Well if you ate Sushi as I was wont to do from time to time, then occasionally you would eat a piece of raw ginger just for a laugh. Well number 4 tastes like that (with twigs and leaves of course).
Breakfast, Lunch, Snack and Dinner

Breakfast, Lunch, Snack and Dinner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think that I will have to make my teeth redundant. I have to clean them 3 or 4 times a day now as my breath stinks like death but they aint chewing anything or contributing in any way. Secretly I think they weigh about 4oz’s. That’s a quarter of a pound #ffs. Who needs teeth when you are literally drinking your meals through a straw.

Feb 18th
Tuesday

How many cups of boiled water does it take to make you think you’ve had a coffee? Just over a million I reckon.

There are many benefits of the Detox Juice diet but chief amongst them must be to help remind you what your pecker is for.

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So far this morning I’m not feeling too bad. I’ve had my breakfast bowl of green. Tasted of kiwi fruit if I am honest. And grass and twigs. Not too bad.

Dreading the mid morning one. It’s yellowish and really hard to eat. Gonna water it down big time and turn it into a drink and do my own NekNomination.

Strange morning. Did the PT session 8-9 with John in the gym. Low energy so I think he went easy on us…..which he needed too. But I’m not starving. Thought I would be this morning but not too bad to be honest. Saying that, I did have to go to bed about 9 last night coz I was gonna eat the entire fridge. Serious cravings last night.

 

Apparently day 2 is a bad one for headaches and sugar cravings so I’m just planning on getting through today.

Oh, my “before” picture got developed fat computer guy