Feb 18th

This juice detox is tough. No other word for it really. All morning I was fine. I didn’t feel hungry, was a little zapped as far as energy was concerned but overall was ok. Had my mid-afternoon shake – the only one that is even remotely palatable – and then had a mini crash of sorts.

Cold, shivering, cant concentrate, achey (from early morning PTs i guess) hungry, head ache and redundant teeth. All these symptoms were expected. We’d been told about them by John before we signed up. But when people tell you about a head ache it doesn’t feel any thing like it when you actually have one. It’s like being told how good a cake tastes……..useless information until you have a whole Chocolate Eclaire in your gob……then¬† you know. Or a Custard slice. Custard slices are my one weakness.¬† custard sliceWell those and Blue Ribbands (only 99 calories). I am actually crying real tears over how much I miss custard slices.






Anyway, these juices – some candid feedback.

  1. Not too awful (everything is in varying degrees of awful. Do not confuse “not awful” with good). I guess it sets your mind with what delights to expect for the rest of the day.
  2. Absolutely shit. I think i would happily do 3 shakes per day if I got to miss out shake number 2. Makes me gag. Tastes like old carrots and shit mixed in with a few twigs.
  3. Not too shabby. Actually as close to ok as you’re gonna get eating grass and twigs with a few leaves for flavouring.
  4. Remember when you used to eat? Well if you ate Sushi as I was wont to do from time to time, then occasionally you would eat a piece of raw ginger just for a laugh. Well number 4 tastes like that (with twigs and leaves of course).
Breakfast, Lunch, Snack and Dinner

Breakfast, Lunch, Snack and Dinner










I think that I will have to make my teeth redundant. I have to clean them 3 or 4 times a day now as my breath stinks like death but they aint chewing anything or contributing in any way. Secretly I think they weigh about 4oz’s. That’s a quarter of a pound #ffs. Who needs teeth when you are literally drinking your meals through a straw.

Feb 18th

How many cups of boiled water does it take to make you think you’ve had a coffee? Just over a million I reckon.

There are many benefits of the Detox Juice diet but chief amongst them must be to help remind you what your pecker is for.


So far this morning I’m not feeling too bad. I’ve had my breakfast bowl of green. Tasted of kiwi fruit if I am honest. And grass and twigs. Not too bad.

Dreading the mid morning one. It’s yellowish and really hard to eat. Gonna water it down big time and turn it into a drink and do my own NekNomination.

Strange morning. Did the PT session 8-9 with John in the gym. Low energy so I think he went easy on us…..which he needed too. But I’m not starving. Thought I would be this morning but not too bad to be honest. Saying that, I did have to go to bed about 9 last night coz I was gonna eat the entire fridge. Serious cravings last night.


Apparently day 2 is a bad one for headaches and sugar cravings so I’m just planning on getting through today.

Oh, my “before” picture got developed fat computer guy