Feb 17th

Well that was tougher than i thought it would be. I’ve had the headaches I was told to expect from caffeine withdrawal. Every advert on TV is for food and I am friggin’ starvin’.

John’s been good. He’s offering support in his own way with motivational texts…….”37 1/2 hours before you stop feeling shite” :-)

Every single waking moment seems to be related to food now that I can’t just snap off a block of cheese, play catch with some rolled up ham or just open crisps and biscuits whenever i want.

But (and it’s a big but) DAY 1 DONE. No cheating. A short walk with Ross’s dog (shit weather and all that). PT session done. Feel like absolute crap so I am in bed at 8pm watching soaps with chocolate adverts in each break. Seems to be the best way to get through this bit of the day……what i used to call the red wine and savory snack part. I remember when i quit smoking I had to avoid places where i smoked most……typically the pub. Now I have to avoid my own fucking kitchen!!!!!! :-(

Doing it as a team has helped. Ross told me that I can do this, “oh and by the way (and dont take this the wrong way Gav)…….. your breath stinks of shit”. Everything i am eating is green and he wouldn’t even let me have a mint. Good lad :-)

Day 2 tomorrow. I’m hoping John makes the detox juice taste marginally better and adds subtle flavours like Vanilla and coconut instead of trying to use ginger and fennel or some other green root vegetable to mask the flavour of, what is basically a cows dinner. Cows are fat too you know!!!!!!!

Feb 17th

Holy Crap.

That last juice, the one that looks like Korma……tastes like someone already ate it. I mean, not good. Sure it may be full of anti-oxidants and detoxifiers to remove all my monounsaturates or something ‘n nothing but why did it have to taste like crap. I was 2/3rds of the way through before i even worked out that there is carrot in it. #FFS Why don’t anti-oxidents taste like chocolate……

Speaking of which. I have had a minor epiphany. Every time I walked into the kitchen to make one of approx 12 coffees per day I must’ve eaten something. I have found myself looking in the biscuit tin, at the Blue Ribband’s and Rocky Robins (they’re my one weakness). I’ve also patrolled the fridge a few times today. Mostly for cheese or ham. None of which I have touched but I don’t think I actually realized I was grazing as much.


I don’t even like chocolate per se.

Anyway, half way through day 1 and I’ve worked out you have to busy. I’ve replaced 2 meals with 2 juices and I am fucking starving #fact but I think this is mostly because I’ve sat around watching telly and having an easy day. Based on the way the first 2 juices tasted I am not looking forward to the next 2.

Total weight loss so far today = I have no idea. John’s robbed my scales so I don’t weigh myself.

More ramblings and hunger related mania to come after the next 2 juices.

Feb 17th

Personal Training session done. 7-8am. Ross showed up. Bit of banta and then it’s weights, battle ropes, weighted steps, boxercise, tabata and then spin for a warm down on the bikes. All fairly standard.
What’s funny is the apprehension of what’s ahead. The sense that something immediate will take effect. I’ve done several early morning PTs and this was no different. But the excitement; the same feeling you get when you leave for the airport and holidays……going on a journey. It’s all there. Except scary. And green.

It’s like, as soon as someone talks about nits (head lice) you’ll start to itch your head. Someone says diet (detox or other) and you’re immediately starving. I have never ever got up during the night for something to eat but as soon as I knew that i was starting my Detox at 6am I wanted to set an alarm for some emergency cake. MMMMMM Cake. I love da cake. It’s like my stomach was aware that it is mostly going to be consuming and processing “Green stuff” for a week and it’s bloody annoyed.

So PT sesion done and over. No big deal. Tired and shakey like you should be after a PT. We wandered past the Nutrizone menu board and wondered what kind of nutrient filled, energy busting, delicious and tasty things we’d pick from the board. There’s lots to chose from…..






Then we were presented with our 4 Detox Juices for the day.
Breakfast, Lunch, Snack and Dinner

So I’ve started on Breakfast. Don’t get me wrong. It’s no full English. It tastes pretty much like it looks. Very countryside.

MMM Breakfast







But let’s remember why I am doing this. It’s a Detox Diet, not a gastronomic delight.

I’ll keep you posted.